As a die-hard Baltimore Ravens fan, certainly Id like to ease into a 5-year, 40-million dollar deal with my boys in purple (though blue better complements my skin tone). The club has a need at starting left tackle — with Eugene Monroe potentially on the move — and the entire offensive line is in disarray. Still, I tell myself, Ive got to stay open to possibilities. So Ive hired an agent. He keeps insisting hes not the type of agent Im seeking, and really wants me to check out a fully furnished 2-bedroom condo he wont stop talking about. His name is Gary Maguire and theres just something exciting about him. Maybe its the crazy look in his eyes. Maybe its that he keeps repeating "help me, help you". Whatever it is, he really gets me: Maguire: You dont look like an NFL player.Gallay: I get that a lot.Maguire: Not sure youre even muscular enough to be an NFL fan.Gallay: Im going to put my clothes back on.Maguire: Shouldnt you declare for the draft first—not free agency?Gallay: Theres too much running at the Scouting Combine. Not my strong suit.Maguire: So how am I going to pitch you to NFL front offices? What are your skills?Gallay: Im tenacious. Im focused. I cant catch a football, but I can clumsily swat at other people playing football. My wife says Im in the way a lot, so I plan on using that to my advantage. Im also dangerously delusional. (I hand him a doctors note.)Maguire: Fine. Ive seen more done with less. Lets talk staging. After discussing mortgage pre-approval for some reason, he and I come up with a plan. He explains to me how most NFL offensive linemen are well over six feet tall, roughly 300-350 pounds, a decade younger than me, and likely had a successful college career followed by some prior success in the NFL. I explain to him that Im not like other people. We settle on agreeing Im a maverick and get to work. "First, you need to put on 165 pounds." I tell him no problem, I did it once, I can do it again. He advises me Ill have to do it in under 35 years this time. Ideally hed like me to hit the target weight by mid-afternoon. Im on it, I holler, through large bites of tofurkey. He stops me as I head towards the bathroom, reminding me I cant afford to lose any weight today. "Next, you need to grow five inches, possibly seven." I explain to him that my whole allure is quarterbacks will have no problem seeing over top of me. Of the other significant O-line free agents, Branden Albert is 65. So is Eugene Monroe. And Rodger Saffold. Jared Veldheer is 68! My shortness and poor posture is EXACTLY how Im gonna differentiate myself from those terrifying brutes! Maguire is unconvinced, so I grudgingly step into the medieval stretching machine he found on Kijiji. It smells of pine wood and suffering, which Im told is exactly what Vince Lombardis station wagon smelled like. "Your hands are too small. Left tackles have huge mitts." Thats the least of my worries, I explain, as I wrap 50 yards of tape to my left hand. Well just tell coaches I have a sprained thumb and I should be better in 2-4 years. Everyone in the NFL is nursing an injury. Shows Im tough. "What about your embarrassing lack of football knowledge and acumen? You just called a touchdown a Pass-The-Liney-Scorey." Ill give it to Maguire, hes asking all the right questions. I explain how I consume 8 hours of NFL Network every day, a claim which seems to impress him. Also, Im able to name four other offensive linemen, none of them John Madden, which is more than 98% of football fans. (To be fair, since nobody knows their names, Maguire cant verify if Richie Incognito is an actual human being.) "Last thing. What do we do about your, um, advanced age?" No problem, I tell him. Im going to change my name to Stanislav Gomez, a young Cuban defector. (I figure if Oscar Isaac, a multi-talented Cuban-Guatemalan, can play a spot-on pasty neurotic Jew in Inside Llewyn Davis, surely I can do the opposite.) We both nod in unison, followed by an enthusiastic slow clap. Time to show me the money, Maguire. He advises me to not say anything else until Ive contacted a copyright attorney. And here we are, Tuesday, March 11, the opening salvo for NFL free agency. I see that Alterraun Verner my fellow hot commodity free agent has been tweeting bible verses to me (and all his followers) for the past several hours. My Verner Mountain Dog, what a joker! Gosh, I hope we land on the same team. Anyway, I better tweet him back before he gets worried. Also, I better get some rest (Im super fat now). Whatever happens, Im not worried. Its like my dad has always told me, worst comes to worst you fall back on your education. Thank goodness I got that Division I degree in sports anthropology. (Maguire knows a guy who knows a guy who is gonna get me a diploma.) Gonna be a big year. Gallays Poll #2 Which situation would be the best fit for Gallay? a) A multi-year deal with his favourite organization, the Baltimore Ravens (said every Steeler fan).b) Drawing five-pointed stars hoping the Devil shows up offering a deal.c) Pulling out of free agency until 2015 to realize all his goals in intramural soccer baseball.d) Discussing his dosage level with a trained professional. Ke... Navas Jersey . Hamelin, who triumphed in the 500 on Saturday, edged out Victor An of Russia by 0.021 seconds to maintain his lead in the World Cup standings. Russias Vladimir Grigorev was third. In the relay, Canada took control six laps from the finish line to beat Russia and the Netherlands. Danilo Real Madrid Jersey .Y. -- Knicks coach Mike Woodson said Wednesday that J. Se... Ramos Jersey .J. -- Marshawn Lynch said Thursday it will be good to get back to football after the Seattle quiet talking running back wrapped up his final mandatory media session of Super Bowl week. I... Casillas Jersey . At a Manhattan federal court hearing, attorney Jordan Siev said his law office has gotten more evidence nearly every day to support its lawsuit accusing MLB and Selig of going on a "witch hunt" to ruin Rodriguezs reputation and career. He said the defendants went "way over the line.MIAMI -- Theres no question that the city of Chicago was waiting, impatiently at times, to get Derrick Rose back. And the same could likely be said about the Bulls franchise. They werent alone. The NBA was waiting as well. When Roses comeback commences for real on opening night in Miami on Oct. 29 against the two-time defending champion Heat, theres no question the league will be savoring the return of one of its biggest sources of star power. Rose sells tons of jerseys, sells tons of tickets, gets more people watching on television and almost certainly will raise the quality of play in the Eastern Conference. Sure, its better for opponents when he spends an entire season in suits. For the game, its better when hes back on the floor. "Obviously, hes one of our better players in the league," said Heat All-Star guard Dwyane Wade, a native of Chicago. "You miss a guy as dynamic as that. The league as a whole missed him.. So Im sure for the city of Chicago, as hes a guy who really believes in and loves the city, Im sure theyre ecstatic. Having him back will bring a different kind of energy." Rose was the NBAs MVP in 2011, and has played in just 40 of the Bulls 166 games since because of a number of injuries -- the most serious of them being a torn-up left knee suffered in Chicagos first playoff game in 2012. Some suggested that because of his athleticism and commitment to rehabilitation, he would only miss a few months. By the time he returned to the court earlier in this preseason, more than 17 months had passed without Rose in uniform. By the time Rose plays in a game for real, it will be 18 months and 1 day since his knee gave way and rendered him to endless questions about why he could be practicing but not playing. Some of his NBA colleagues understood that logic. "I thought it was very smart of him not to rush back," Cleveland guard Jarrett Jack said. "Everybody kept thinking that just because it was an injury that happened last year that he should come back in the regular season. They didnt take into consideration that it happened so late in April and he would be walking a slippery slope to force himself back and then to try and be himself. "Thats the thing that people forget," Jacck continued.dddddddddddd "You dont want to come back and just be half of yourself. You want to come back and be at full strength." So Rose waited. The Bulls did better than many people expected without him, winning 45 regular-season games a year ago, ousting Brooklyn in the first round and taking Game 1 of a second-round series against Miami before falling in five games. And the off-the-court side of Rose seemed to flourish. He had the top-selling NBA jersey in China, Latin America and Europe last season. His jersey remains one of the most prominent -- and popular -- at the NBA Store in New York. All that came with the majority of Roses public displays of basketball being shooting and dribbling work on the floor before games, often working himself into a full sweat while his teammates were in the locker room making final preparations before starting warmups. "I think hes coming back stronger than ever," Atlanta forward Al Horford said. "Just from what Ive been hearing, hes anxious. He hasnt played in a year so hes going to be going after people." Thats been evident in this preseason. If someone with an MVP award on his resume needed a breakout preseason game, Rose got it last week against Indiana. He was vintage against one of Chicagos top rivals, with 32 points in just 31 minutes. He was aggressive, getting to the foul line. He created contact, just like he used to. He was strong defending on the ball. His jump shot looked better than ever. "Its definitely going to mean a lot to have him back," Minnesota forward Kevin Love said. "We obviously hope that when he plays the Timberwolves that he has an off game. He looks a lot stronger, he looks very confident and I think hes going to have a great year. He just looks really focused." By the end of the year, Indiana coach Frank Vogel will probably have seen enough of Rose, given that the Bulls and Pacers will probably be the top contenders in the Central Division. And if their four regular-season meetings werent enough, Chicago and Indiana squared off twice in this preseason as well. So Vogels already had a courtside seat from which to assess Roses return. "Same old Derrick Rose," Vogel said. Yep, hes back. Cheap China Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys China Cheap Jerseys From China China NFL Jerseys Cheap Jerseys Cheap Jerseys China ' ' '