Bud Poliquin's Week 13 NFL Predictions

If it's Thursday afternoon (even on Thanksgiving) during the NFL season, I'm picking and hoping right here in this corner of cyberspace.

And Travis Moen XL Jersey this week's winners are . . .

Green Bay 23, Detroit 20: The Packers' Josh Sitton called Detroit's defenders "dirtbags" and "scumbags" this week. The Lions responded the only way they know how by promising to kick Sitton in the groin during the coin flip.

Dallas 35, Oakland 13: On seven occasions in last week's loss, the bottom feeding Raiders moved to within 34 yards of the Titans' end zone . . . and scored just one touchdown, proving once again that they close deals like the old Willy Loman.

Pittsburgh 19, Baltimore 14: Joe Flacco thinks the "Wildcat" makes his Ravens look like a high school team. Which only goes to show that if you give a guy $120 million, he's suddenly unafraid to tell the truth.

Buffalo 24, Atlanta 17: Because he knows there are only so many open dates down there in his beloved swamp, Daryl Gross is worried that Bon Jovi, a Jersey guy, might buy the Bills and shift some Buffalo home games to the Meadowlands.

NJ Giants 31, Washington 20: Tom Coughlin wants his players to talk less and play more. You know, like back in his day. He'd also like to see them wear letter sweaters, drink chocolate malts and go to sock hops on Friday nights.

Miami 21, NJ Jets 10: Jets fans squint as they look at their quarterback and see a guy named Joe. No, not Joe Namath. And not Joe Montana. And not Joe Theismann. Nah, in the midst of this developing disaster, Patrick Roy XL Jersey they see Joe Hazelwood.

Cleveland 17, Jacksonville 13: Still, on the baseball front, it used to be said that a three time loser was a manager driving into Cleveland in an Edsel. Turning to football, it's now a coach running the Browns with Brandon Weeden at quarterback.

Indianapolis 30, Tennessee 20: If you're looking for the cinematic equivalent of Jim Irsay, the Colts' owner who's upset and tweeting again, consider Norman Bates, in housedress and wig, after he pulled back that shower curtain.

Chicago 23, Minnesota 16: Minnesota is moving Joe Mauer, the $184 Million Man, to the power position of first base even though he's hit only 33 homers since 2009. In related news, the Vikings have signed Justin Bieber to play linebacker.

Arizona 28, Philadelphia 21: Gillette was going to offer Nick Foles an endorsement deal. But it backed off when after learning that the kid shaves by sticking his face in a bowl of warm milk and having a cat lick his chin.

Carolina 27, Tampa Bay 16: By late Monday night, it may be that only Seattle will have a better record in the NFC than the [url=http://www.officialhockeycanadiens.com/Authentic-Patrick-Roy-Jersey]http://... Panthers. The only people who saw that coming did so with the Hubble Telescope.

New England 40, Houston 9: As they've stumbled and bumbled their way through their nine game losing streak, these sons of Gary Kubiak have inspired the awful Astros to adopt a new team motto: "Thank God for the Texans!"

San Francisco 31, St. Louis 16: Jhonny Peralta is upset with himself. He got $52 million from St. Louis after getting caught doing drugs. Now he's wondering if he might have gotten more if he'd also stolen a car.

Denver 35, Kansas City 24: After watching the way Peyton Manning threw the ball on Sunday night, it's easy to see why the Broncos lost to New England. He didn't study video of the Patriots. Nah, he checked out old films of Hoyt Wilhelm.

San Diego 27, Cincinnati 14: Suddenly, the bronzed citizens of San Diego have a choice: Do they plug into the Chargers . . . or do they spend their December weekends in pursuit of the true purpose of life? You know, barbecues.

Seattle 35, New Orleans 28: There is talk that Robinson Cano might sign with Seattle, which would be a perfect [url=http://www.officialhockeycanadiens.com/Authentic-Travis-Moen-Jersey]http://... fit for the guy. After all, he could stop at Starbucks for cups of espresso on his jogs down the first base line.